We are all insecure sometimes. We all have things that we work to overcome. Fresh wounds, old wounds, childhood memories, new fears.. whatever it is we’re all a work in progress. It is a fact that every single human being on this planet will show narcissistic traits at some point in their lives, often flaring up over a season in life where their ego is fragile due to fear, trauma, a problem or crisis. For most people, however, this gets worked through and will subside as the situation subsides. But for people with NPD or high narcissistic traits, that usually isn’t the case, as these people have completely flipped the scale to the other side of the street on narcissism where they sink into it like a black hole, are consumed by it, and it tends to get worse with every day that passes. These are the type of people who cannot and will not look at themselves as their egos are too fragile to admit their own faults. Their pride is too big to fix it, and they tend to blame everyone else instead for what they refuse to acknowledge.
The list is extensive across multiple sources, so this is not a complete list and I urge you to do more research on the topic. But here are just a few of the traits to spot in someone displaying Narcissism, especially when it’s out of control:
- Lives in a fantasy world that supports their delusions of grandeur
- They cannot handle reality
- Needs constant praise and admiration
- Huge sense of entitlement – they believe they should get or have whatever they want
- Rules don’t apply to them
- Exploits others without guilt or shame, uses others to get what they want
- Frequently demeans, intimidates, bullies, or belittles others
- Upset other people often
- Struggle to keep relationships
- Put themself first always
- Their way is the “right” and only way
- Talk about themself a lot or all of the time in conversations
- An intense need for excessive attention and admiration
- Get angry is they don’t get attention or admiration
- Exaggerate and lies about their talents and achievements
- Believe they’re special and more so than anyone else
- Get revengeful of someone else is around who they instinctively know is “better” than them
- Set unrealistic goals
- Have wide, fast mood swings, highs and lows, can flip from laughing to rage in a millisecond
- Cannot taking others’ feelings seriously and often tries to diminish or downplay them
- Strive to win, whatever it takes
- Fantasize about unlimited success, money, power, beauty, or ideal love
- Wants celebrity status, being the most important person in the room wherever they go
- Easily hurt and very easily wounded (ego)
- Overreacts to everything
- Can’t take criticism, refuses to work on self admit fault
- Makes excuses or blames for own flaws or failings
- Refuses to take responsibility
- Attempts to sway or manipulate others
- Uses gaslighting to confuse people and prey on emotions
- Only associates with people deemed to be on “their level”
- Reacts with rage
- Reactions often disproportionate to the situation
- Shames others as a form of manipulation
- Emotionally neglectful
- Doesn’t listen
- Interrupts often
- Abusive and foul language
- A grandiose sense of self-importance
- A belief that they are ‘special’ and unique and can only be understood by, or should associate with, other special or high-status people (or institutions).
- A lack of empathy, sympathy, and feeling at all
- They cannot recognize or identify with the feelings and needs of others
- The belief that others are envious of them, or people are out to get them
- Arrogant, haughty or supercilious behavior and attitudes
Different Types Of Narcissists (list is not limited to these):
Covert Narcissist (vulnerable/needy). They tend to be shy, self-effacing, hypersensitive, and always worried about how others perceive them. These types are chronically envious of others’ success or what they have, even over the smallest things. They think their pain or suffering is worse than everyone else’s, they believe people don’t understand them or what they’re going through and might believe they’re the ugliest person in the room.
Cerebral Narcissist – They derive self-importance from their intellect, believing they’re smarter than everyone else. They tend to have a condescending way about them, an arrogance that is used to put others in their place which is intended to be beneath the cerebral narcissist.
Somatic Narcissist – Somatic narcissists get their self-worth from their bodies. They tend to obsess over physical appearance, including weight and criticize others based on their appearance. They will show off as much as they can all the time, from over-exaggerated poses in photos, to cute outfits or how sexy they look in them, to gym pics, swimsuit pics, and sexually suggestive selfies.
Spiritual Narcissist – They use religion or spirituality to intimidate or justify harmful behaviors to others that can creep in when an individual takes a “holier than thou” stance, overemphasizing their level of spirituality or closeness to God. Harmful behaviors can happen when, as an example, a church leader claims they had a vision from God about someone else, or that they’re in a “higher” position to use Biblical passages to control, hurt, or shame someone. This type will also alienate others from their group of “holier than thou people”, and make outsiders feel shameful and guilty for even being alive, if they don’t align with this narcissist’s beliefs.
Exhibitionist Narcissist – They want to be seen and heard by everyone. This can take on any form from showing off their sexy body in inappropriate ways in public or on social media, to spouting opinions, to spewing rage in public, to playing the victim. They make a scene wherever they go and always look for an opportunity to either show off or cause a problem in order to be the center of attention.